On Returning to Work and Daycare

I was one of the lucky ones. I took 12 weeks off after Claire was born. I worked all the way up to the day Claire was born, in fact I went into labor at work. I intended to work through my due date so her birth could not have come at a more opportune time to take advantage of my full 12 weeks of leave. It doesn't seem possible to me that 12 weeks have gone by and that I had to go back to work. It went way to fast and it breaks my heart to be away from my girl.  

On the 17th of January I returned to work after 12 weeks away. To make things easier on me Tim stayed home with Claire the first two days I went back to work. And to make things even easier on me he brought her to work at lunch time both days so I could nurse her and of course see her. It was strange to be back at work. Everything was the same yet different. I suppose I am the one that is different now but I'm also that same person. Funny how that can be. 

My biggest anxiety about returning to work revolves around pumping. 

I plan on breastfeeding Claire for as long as possible which means I have to pump at work several times a day. Ideally it means that I should pump every time she gets a bottle. But in the real world it means I pump three times a day. I've been worried about being able to keep up with my work while running out three times a day and how the people I work with will react to me running out so much. So far I've had no problems with either but I haven't had a busy schedule to keep up with yet.  Perhaps the biggest downfall of my job is that I don't have a private office space. In fact I don't even share an office. I work in a large shared lab space that people and customers are in and out of all day long. I don't even feel comfortable drying the pumping parts on my desk (I have a small drying rack I keep in a desk drawer). Where do I pump? 

In a small dirty room on the first floor of my building. Because my employer is so large they are required to provide space for me to pump. Some of the other ladies in the department who have recently had children clued me in on the "pumping room" and how to get access to it (talk to the building manager). I went into work about a week in advance to check out the room and get a key. So glad I did that. It was so dirty that I needed to bring something to wipe down the surfaces I'd be using. It clearly hasn't been cleaned in a long time. The chair was terrible and uncomfortable. I'm half tempted to bring something in to put on the wall to make it more interesting. Basically it's a dusty storage room/ unused office with a fax machine in it (that's infrequently used). At least I have a private place to go that isn't a bathroom or conference room. The building manager has been super nice as well. I had asked him if I could use the chair in the outer office once in a while if my mom brings Claire up to nurse on my lunch hour. Instead of saying yes he did one better. He got me a brand new, really nice and comfortable office chair for the room. Score! My office chair isn't nearly as nice. 

Can I say that I hate pumping. I hate it. It's just not my cup of tea. I'm guessing most women don't like it but you do what you have to do for your children. While I can, I will continue to pump and breastfeed for as long as possible. I pump 5 times a day on weekdays and 3 times a day on weekends. 3 times at work (morning, lunch, and afternoon) and once after Claire's first morning feeding and once after she goes to bed. So far I seem to be doing pretty well with how much I'm getting. I usually get 4-8 ounces first thing in the morning and 1-2 ounces before I go to bed. At work I'm still not sure how much I'll get on a consistent basis. My first two days back I did pretty well and I pumped enough to cover what she ate during the day. Thursday I could barely get anything out but I was also super stressed about Claire's first day at daycare. So far this week I'm keeping up pretty well with what I pump at work, everything else is for the freezer stash!

Liquid Gold

Daycare... Thursday the 19th Claire went to daycare for the first time. We chose an in home daycare rather than a traditional center. I spent an afternoon with Claire at daycare the week before so I felt pretty confident that she would be fine in the long run. Of course she cried (and I cried) when we dropped her off. A half hour later I heard from our friends (dropping off their little boy) that Claire had started to calm down and was doing well. A couple hours later I got a picture message of Claire very calm and in the swing. Overall she did well but didn't eat much during the day. Instead of having the 3-4 bottles that she probably should have had she had 3 very small bottles. She eventually cooperated and took a bottle at the end of day. Our daycare provider will also do cloth diapers for us so we've been able to continue with those (this is another post in itself). I took the following Friday off and I'm so glad that I did. Claire had me up several times that night to nurse (she was making up for lost time I think) and I was a zombie the next day. You get used to sleeping a certain amount at night and it really throws you off to have it change out of the blue.
So far returning to work hasn't been all that bad. I miss my baby terribly and take every opportunity I get to look at pictures of her. I also have to resist the urge to call the daycare a million times a day! I'm sure it gets easier/better but it pretty much sucks. Even though I miss her, I do have to admit that it's not to have adult conversations and to have intellectual stimulation. I also find comfort in the fact that this is the best thing for Claire. We need both our incomes to be financially stable so we both work.
We're still having some trouble with Claire taking a bottle and are trying out different types. So far we've tried Dr. Brown's, Tommy Tippee, Advent, and we'll be trying Medela Calma. Basically she screams her head off when offered the bottle no matter which one and then eventually eats a little. Afternoon feedings seem to be better but I'm guessing hunger overpowers her distaste of the bottle. Anyone else out there with this problem, what did you do?